FROM OUR KYIV EDITOR

AN AMERICAN FEMALE mercenary flying F16s for Ukraine gave birth to twins while engaging an unidentified flying object over the Black Sea, according to a Turkish news agency report.

The report from Kebabske Anatolia Headlines says that the fighter pilot was on patrol near Crimea when she was attacked by an aircraft that she did not recognize.

“She then dived on the object believing it to be a Russian drone,” said another foreign volunteer, “only to see it shoot straight up in front of her at a speed she estimated to be about Mach 8. She tried to follow and that was when she went into labor in the cockpit. A Dutch midwife who mans a 155 mm howitzer, coached her on the contractions while she nursed her aircraft back to its base and delivered herself of two sons. By the time she touched down, she was holding her twins in her lap.”

The pilot, who volunteered to school Ukrainian flyers in the F16, is married to a CIA officer who works in Lviv. He is said to be in shock. “I had no idea. She had no idea,” he told a reporter. “It was the Gs she had to pull, that’s what squeezed the little fellows out. I’m grateful to the aliens.”