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CELEBRITY ATHEISM IS now so popular in England that it has more adherents than there are Anglican church-goers.

“It has become the fastest growing religion in the UK, ahead of Jedi Knights, Wokeism, and, of course, Scientology,” says Theologian John D. Baptist, whose seminal work Who Needs God When We Have Celebrity? has achieved cult status in California.

“This modern celebrity atheism is a religion in so many ways. It has a doctrine founded solely in science, a celebrity priesthood – Richard Dawkins, Ricky Gervais, Stephen Fry, and their like – and a Messiah in Charles Darwin. Strangely enough, it even has a God – Evolution. Although the burden of explaining things that happened prior to evolution places some strain on that deity.”

Celebrity atheism has spread to the United States and continues to grow. It has become a must-have accessory for anyone aspiring to fame now. “You almost have to be an atheist now to make it in comedy,” Luther Big Dog Dick, a stand-up comedian, told the Bugle. “Your cred demands it. I do not believe in God. Founded in pure logic, it is reason itself. Isn’t it?”