WASHINGTON DC

WITH EXERCISE, GENE treatment and a good plastic surgeon, angry supporters still believe US President Joe Biden could run again for the White House in 2028.

“He’s younger than Paul McCartney, for fuck sake,” said a Democratic donor. “And Harrison Ford. And way younger than Ringo Starr. And they’re still out there. He’s not even a year older than Mick Jagger. Jumpin’ Jack Flash. Too old for office? Spare me. With a little physical repair and some genetic intervention we can have him back for the 2028 race.”

“Et Tu, losers,” another Biden loyalist cried out at the White House railings. “He has been assassinated. By people who are not fit to tie his shoelaces – when he can’t bend down. They have felled a great Caesar of our age. I hope they can look at themselves in the mirror.”

Others , furious with the Democrats for turning on their leader, have vowed to vote for Donald Trump. “The Donald survived assassination; Joe did not,” insisted a lifelong Democrat. “The Donald was shot by an enemy; Joe was stabbed in the back by his friends. Shakespeare, where are you when we need you?”