CANBERRA REPORTING STAFF

“NO, WE DON’T know the person’s name, they haven’t been born yet! We do know they’ll have to work pretty damn hard to keep the whole country going.”

Dawkins Darwin, Professor of Crisis Demographics at the University of Alice Springs had a sad smile on his face as he took questions from the assembled press.

“Yes, there will still be a morning tea break,” he said. “But the working day will be considerably longer. However, a massive salary will make up for the extra work demanded. And no we don’t see workplace bullying as an issue. Loneliness will be, though. And toilet breaks. And sleep. And eating. And life. This person will have all those millions of pensioners to support. And all those cats they’ll be keeping.”