BELFAST

FOLLOWING THE RECENT anti-migrant love-in between hard-line Ulster Loyalists and right-wing Irish Nationalists in Belfast, the Nationalists who found themselves welcomed as comrades by their former Unionist enemies, say that hard-core Fascism is perhaps the way to speed up Irish unity.

“Look we’re not really into all the black shirts and leather, and we don’t do authoritarian hierarchy that well – we’re naturally subversive as a people,” insisted Hoch O’Duffy from Coolock in Dublin, “but if some kind of Fascist state is what tips us into a United Ireland, then we can probably live with that. God if we’d known that was all the Prods wanted, we could have done it decades ago. right now, we’re close enough to smell unity, and we have Fine Gael in Government in Dublin, so how difficult can Fascism really be? Just so long as we don’t have to speak German. I mean Irish is hard enough.”