FROM OUR SPACE CORRESPONDENT, TOM MAJOR

A GROUP OF cosmic observers using a satellite to search for alien life across the Universe say that they have discovered what appears to be an extra-terrestrial communication which they claim says no intelligent life can be found on Earth.

“Could this be why we have not met any aliens?” said Armstrong Wow, leader of the Alone? Project, a privately-funded scientific survey of space and time that focuses on extra-terrestrial life.

The message, which came in short narrow-band bursts which only revealed themselves when processed through a quantum computer both forward and backward in time, was received several years ago and only deciphered in the last few weeks, came as a shock to scientists.

“Clearly, someone out there has had a look at us and then passed us by,” said Kirk Scott, a scientist working on the project. “What we don’t know is when in our history they came here. We humans have not been around for very long. Civilization is about three thousand years old. That’s a tight window of opportunity for anyone choosing to look for obviously intelligent life. Of course, there’s an even more disturbing conclusion: they have just looked at us and decided …