LONDON

ENGLAND FOOTBALL SUPPORTERS, happy with a job well done against the Republic of Ireland in Dublin, have dismissed complaints against manager Lee Carsley’s refusal to sing an anthem – including God Save The King – before games, adding that they would gladly sing Deutschland Uber Alles in his company if that helped continue the positive results.

“Sorted,” exclaimed a jubilant fan as he left the stadium in Dublin after England defeated the Irish 2-0. He then proceeded to sing Molly Malone and The Fields of Athenry before murdering You’ll Never Walk Alone. “I love the smell of Guinness after a game. That hops smell,” he roared. “Smells like … Victory!”