BELGRADE THURSDAY

A BICYCLE SHED built for the Irish Parliament which cost three hundred and thirty five thousand euros is actually a prototype for a planned luxury bike shed industry which the Dublin Government hopes will replace American technology firms when they finally leave.

“Oh, yes, the moaning about the price tag for a shed that only houses half a dozen bikes at any one time, misses the long-term aim of the project, which is to launch a luxury bicycle shed industry from scratch,” says a Government spokeswoman. “When the world is green and fossil fuels are long gone, the demand for bicycle sheds around the globe will be enormous. And we’ll be first in. The technology firms aren’t going to be around forever. Bicycles, on the other hand, they have a real future. The Harris cabinet is anxious we get in on the top floor. The high end of the bicycle shed market. Our sheds will be like Swiss watches, Italian cars and French couture. And when we do lead the market, the three hundred and thirty five thousand we spent will look like petty cash.”