DUBLIN

AFTER BEING DEFEATED 2-0 by England, Republic of Ireland football supporters have announced that as far as anthems go they will sing any song that brings them victory, including God Save the King, Land of Hope And Glory and The Sash.

“It’s beginning to look like the period of 1986 to 1994 was a curious aberration to the normal, a few years when the sons of immigrants, raised in England, playing in England at a high level, but able to play for Ireland, chose to play for Ireland,” says Harlech Rubber Toll, a pundit whose Podcast Forever Soccer has an audience in the millions. “Now, it appears that the trend has reversed, with players like Declan Rice and Jack Grealish moving from the Republic of Ireland to England. In truth, international soccer has become more like the club game. Players go where their best interests are, not their supposed national loyalties. But then that was probably always the case. It’s only when they leave your team that you sit up and notice. No amount of singing any song will change that. It’s all about success. Build success and they will come. Ireland just hasn’t been successful in recent years.”