FLORIDA

CONSPIRACY THEORISTS AROUND the world are screaming for recognition as they insist their speculation on the existence of a second gunman in the attempted assassination of Donald Trump has proven to be correct.

“Apologize, you bastards!” yelled Dr Daithi Berk-Moron, whose podcast, Conspiracy Today, Conspiracy Tomorrow, Conspiracy Forever, has a following in the millions. “We were right. Another gunman. A second shooter. How many more shooters are out there? It’s as if they’re lining up, one after another. This kind of thing is not a series of random nuts, it’s organized, it’s top down, it’s the stuff of coups. How did this guy get that close, and carrying an AK47?”