JERUSALEM

IN RESPONSE TO the pager and walkie talkie offensive launched against it in recent days, the Islamic hard men of Hezbollah have promised to bring the vengeance of Allah to Israel by attacking the Jewish state through its doorbells.

“Every Jew who presses a door bell when visiting his neighbor is now on notice,” said a Hezbollah commander. “The fire of Allah will await them. No door bell will be safe. No porch will provide sanctuary to the infidels.”