OUR POLICING CORRESPONDENT

NOW THAT THE Irish police force, An Garda Siochana, has begun accepting foreign nationals into its ranks, sources close to the Irish Government have indicated that jailbirds given early release in Britain will be considered should they choose to apply for admission to the cops on the Emerald Isle.

“We have a tradition of accepting former British criminals into the police on this island,” said a member of Government party Fine Gael, “a proud tradition, so much so that they were always allowed to wear their own distinctive uniform. In fact the more thuggish the individual the more we will give him – or her nowadays – serious consideration for membership of An Garda Siochana.”

Concerns that a mad rush by vicious brutes released from British prisons to take the weight off the prison system there, will come to Ireland to join the police and ensure they are not around if a new British Government decides to reverse the early release police, has led to a call for a relaxation of uniform requirements in An Garda Siochana.

“Sure we’ve found all these old 1920s uniforms lying around in the stores in the Phoenix Park. Black tunics and khaki trousers and khaki tunics and black trousers. We can use them if necessary,” said a Garda spokesman. “I’m sure the great Irish public will come up with a suitable nickname for these lads.”

When asked where such volunteers from Britain might be based, a Government adviser repled: “Well, Cork and Balbriggan for a start. They need this kind of thing.”