DUBLIN

IT WAS THE one thing Russian Intelligence never considered when it sprang a honey trap on an Irish politician: the sheer venality of the Irish political class.

“Sure your man just told them what they wanted to hear, and got his leg over and whatever else,” said an Irish Government spokesman. “No harm done. Members of the Dail are not stupid. And they’re certainly not going to turn down a free ride when it’s offered. Would you?”

Dr Conor Cruise-Jadot, an expert in security matters, who when he was an Irish Army private achieved the highest UN pay returns in the history of the organisation while on duty in the Lebanon, says fears of the Kremlin taking over the country are misplaced. “It’s in the DNA of Irish politicians to take anything they can get for free, promise the Universe in return and deliver on nothing. Did the Ruskis not know that? And as for being in the pocket of foreign powers, hasn’t that been government policy since forever?”

Meanwhile, tongues around Leinster House, the seat of the Irish Parliament, are wagging furiously. Members are trying to figure out who among their number travels the most and is most exposed to an approach by a Russian agent posing as a sultry harlot.

“I just want to know if there’s any video?” said an opposition politician. “If there is, it’s got to go on TikTok. Unless it’s one of ours. Then there would be national security issues. But Jaysus, let’s see the video.”

Irish commentators, who have be surprisingly quite about the matter to date, are marveling at how Taoiseach Simon Harris avoided naming the individual who has been declared a Russian agent by telling everyone he doesn’t comment on national security matters and then warning Ireland that it is as vulnerable to Russian espionage as any other country.

No shit, Sherlock!