WASHINGTON DC

IT WAS TO have been the springboard for the coming election campaign of Irish Prime Minister Simon Harris – a private meeting with US President Joe Biden at the White House, to show Irish voters that he is important. It has turned into a confused panic among the supporters of US Presidential election hopeful Kamala Harris, as many of them now believe that in order to fully secure the LGBTQIA+ vote, she has actually gone and had a sex change.

“All these people heard was that Harris was meeting Biden in the White House,” explained political commentator Wallace Bipartisan III. “Naturally, as they have no clue who Simon Harris is, or even where Ireland is, when they saw footage on Tik Tok of a strange rather pale looking man called Harris meeting President Biden in the Oval Office, they put two and two together and came up with five. It had to be Vice President Kamala Harris recovering from transition surgery, didn’t it? As we all know, Democrats have never been strong on arithmetic. Now they’re going have to drag Barak Obama out again to explain the situation to everyone. If she’s elected, she’s gotta hire him as her Chief of Staff or Press Secretary. And get some advice from Simon Harris on Tik Tok publicity.”

The Irish leader, who is known as the Tik Tok Taoiseach (Irish for Prime Minister) in his home country, had hoped to meet Mr Biden in the White House Rose Garden for a bit of a shindig and a stern lecture on Palestine and the supply of arms to Israel, but fears that a US President partying with perceived enemies of the Jewish state might contrast badly with the mess caused further south in places like Florida by Hurricane Milton, saw the meeting cut short and indoors, and supposedly without camera access.

“The Tik Tok footage was taken by one of Mr Harris’s aides,” said a White House staffer. “That’s what caused the confusion among Team Kamala’s support base. In true Simon Harris style, we’re told, it was on social media with an appropriate soundtrack before he and the President had even said a word to each other. What do they call that? A photo op? Yes, I understand that’s the phrase.”