WIRE SERVICES

SALE OF LATTES and their multiple variations have rocketed across America following the triumphant return of Donald Trump to the White House.

Coffee shops across many of the fifty states have run out of skinny lattes and are relying on *Frothaccinos with cinnamon topping to fill the gap.

“I blame the Donald,” says Herb, a coffee shop owner from California. “These are all Democrats, pouring in here in droves, ordering every variation of latte they can think of. And not just to drown their sorrows, but to touch base with their liberal elite culture. It’s a comfort blanket, the latte. And they need comfort.”

Meanwhile wholesale milk futures have shot up on the Chicago Teet Exchange, while world coffee prices have all but doubled overnight.

“We lost the Senate, too, so I don’t see it ending soon,” says Herb.

*Just froth, nothing else (also known as the Kamala) – ED