SOMEWHERE IN CALIFORNIA

SPECIAL HELPLINE SOCIAL workers have told furious Kamala Harris supporters that there is a way to get rid of Donald Trump without leaving the comfort of their bedrooms.

“Just clench those fists so tight the muscles lock, then frown and grit your teeth so determinedly that the enamel begins to come off; and finally scream like you did when you were two and your mother would not give you back your favorite toy.”

Thousands have been doing this on Tik Tok and other sites and encouraging friends and allies to do the same.

“If you add in ‘How dare you?’ it’s even more effective,” according to a Los Angeles psychologist who helped draw up the strategy. “And you can stay in your bed, hugging a favorite cuddly toy or a pillow. Remember, you’re so special, and everything you believe is right and what you want should happen and the rest of the world out there, represented by Trump, that’s Fascist, tyrant land, full of women haters and Transogynists and gay bashers and black loathers and climate deniers and Israel lovers and everything else that makes your world feel unsafe. Close your eyes when you are clenching and screaming and imagine it is all gone and it will be. And make sure you clench your butt too. Just in case. Yes, how dare they?”