WASHINGTON DC

MILLIONS OF AMERICANS are being offered online courses in basic Nazi philosophy to prepare them for the presidency of Donald Trump.

“It’s an introduction to Fascism,” says Adolf Gauleiter, a Trump loyalist from Mississippi. “Your standard hate creeds, your minority persecutions, how to dress the part – Hugo Boss is the yardstick – and more importantly, how to annoy the fucking shit out of loser lefties. We don’t think the President will demand a salute or a heil from everyone he meets. Only on ceremonial occasions. And there’s no need to worry about train schedules, Amtrak is just not up to the job of shipping people anywhere on time. We’re thinking about sending illegals back with a free Tesla for each family. Or we could take our lead in that area from the Democrats who shut the Japanese community up in camps during WWII. Nah, just kidding.”