WASHINGTON, DC

NO ONE WHO cannot recite Margaret Atwood’s novel, The Handmaid’s Tale, will be allowed to work in the new Trump administration.

“Well, it’s the blueprint for all we believe, isn’t it,” said a long-time GOP loyalist, who has purchased thousands of copies of the book for use during the Trump presidency. “All our plans to control women and turn them into slavish baby factories, it’s all there. Once we’ve eliminated the cats – they are to be banned after next February – women will have to register their wombs, which will then become the property of the Federal Government.”

It is hoped that the elimination of cats from America will encourage women who have previously taken solace from the furry felines, to consider other avenues of existence.

“And after we’ve deported all the illegals, there just won’t be the demand for cats all round anyway,” the Republican loyalist added.