DICTATORSHIP WILL BE INCREMENTAL

PEOPLE’S FEELINGS WILL BE TAKEN INTO ACCOUNT WHEN THEY ARE ARRESTED – THEY MAY CHOOSE THE CONCENTRATION CAMP THEY ARE SENT TO

TOP HOLLYWOOD DIRECTOR WILL MANAGE THE TRUMP PROPAGANDA MOVIE – THE TRIUMPH OF THE TRUMP

POLITICAL OPPONENTS WITHIN THE GOP WILL NOT BE TAKEN OUT AND SHOT WITHOUT TRIAL UNLESS THE POLLS SAY THEY SHOULD BE

CONGRESS WILL NOT BE SET ABLAZE TO ASSIST WITH NET ZERO TARGETS

THE INTERSTATE ROAD NETWORK WILL BE REPAIRED

DONALD TRUMP WILL take the scenic route to absolute dictatorship, says a major Republican donor.

The new President, who has been called a Nazi by his opponents, is said to want to let the United States drift into autocracy, like playing a round of golf, rather than imposing it immediately.

“Only when you reach the 18th will you realize that the gorgeous place you are playing is a prison,” says Hal Chip, a billionaire cyber security genius who contributes to the Republicans. “And by then you won’t care. We intend to take the best of dictatorship, and ditch the worst. So we’ll take people’s feelings into account, we’ll avoid major building fires and make a road network Hitler would have envied. And then there’ll be a movie. Huge rally, legions of marching men – and women – and speeches that will make your hair stand up. Come on, how great is that?”

And internal opponents?

“Naturally, we’ll be telling the new President that there’s a plot within the GOP to destroy him. He works better that way. So, there’s probably gonna be a purge, but we’ll take a straw poll of public opinion before sentence is pronounced. This is going to feel like a Netflix series, lots of hoopla to start with and then you hardly notice it.”