FROM OUR PAID ENDORSEMENTS EDITOR

THE LARGE SUMS now linked to Kamala Harris’s celebrity endorsements has led Wall Street to take steps to set up a whole new market trading celebrity approvals for future US elections.

“This could be massive,” said Bernie Loot, whose hedge fund already deals in Celebrity Default Swaps, a grey market taking bets on the precarious careers of various well known people. “If we can get a futures market in celebrity endorsements going, the synthetic market around it – that’s the one where we make bets on the bets – will be worth billions.”

The idea would be to buy and sell options on which singer, TV host or movie star would back a particular candidate in a future election, and how much they would be paid for this. If the candidate wins, then the endorsement option would pay handsomely; losers would be wiped out.

“I can see a short market developing too, to cover people from ruin,” Loot remarked. “I mean everyone who backed Kamala this time, there’ll be big short pressure on them if they turn up in the future. But the new celebrities – and let’s face it they come and go like fuckin’ fire flies – their prices will rise like Bitcoin on a wet Friday, if they have any influence on voting patterns. And, believe me, the few tens of millions that the Democrats spent buying celebrity smiles, that’ll be chicken feed.”