DUBLIN

ALONGSIDE BOOSTING POLICE numbers to meet the growing street protests against swelling asylum seeker figures, a secret policy document proposing that everyone in Ireland be made homeless, to even the playing pitch in the country’s housing crisis, has been found lying in the gutter in central Dublin.

The document, which does not have any identifying markers on it, suggests that every single dwelling in the country be demolished to appease those who cannot get a home of their own.

“It’s designated the Cambodia Option,” says Ultan Wincing-Frown, a freelance journalist based in the Irish capital. “We can’t figure out which party it belongs to. But the idea is that we just flatten the country and start again. Everyone in the same boat – or tent – and the whole population devoted to building homes for everyone. I suppose a project like that could pick up the slack if Trump’s policies see a load of US Tech firms up stumps and leave. I’ll be heading to Italy myself. I can get a nice house there for a euro.”