FROM OUR POLAR BEAR DESK

A LARGE INCREASE in polar bear migration between Greenland and Iceland has been recorded in the immediate aftermath of Donald Trump’s statement that he would not rule out the use of force if is offer to buy the Danish dependency is rejected.

Yogee Bubu, an Icelandic naturalist who swims with the bears as they negotiate the perilous journey between the islands on lumps of ice, says he counted twenty times the number of polar bears making the difficult journey after news spread that Trump was contemplating the use of force to secure Greenland.

“These are intelligent creatures,” he said from the back of a large whale where he was camped for the night. “They may not understand English – which is often made more difficult by Mr Trump’s speeches – but they do have a radar for threat. They pick up the vibe, as they say. They know that if Trump takes Greenland, then their habitat is in for a shellacking. Some of them are even changing hair color in anticipation of moving south in the future. I’ve seen Orcas moving east too. We’re all wondering if he really means it. You know the Donald. We’re hoping, too, for more ice to assist the bears. It’s a little bit like Dunkirk for them.”