WASHINGTON DC

DONALD TRUMP’S CLAIM that God spared him from an assassin so that he might make America great again, has been contradicted by the Almighty who insists he was playing golf that day and missed the President’s speech.

“I saw it later on CNN,” He said. “Though the coverage was so banal that it was hard to conclude that someone had actually shot Mr Trump. Of course I’m glad he survived. No one wants murder. I’m sure it’s prohibited in those commandments I gave to Moses. I don’t watch CNN much now; I’ve been getting my news from Tik Tok. I hope it’s allowed stay in the United States.”