OUR MIGRANT DESK

AMERICAN PRESIDENT DONALD “The Donald” Trump’s promise to deport millions of illegal migrants has run into a fascinating snag, according to a new report: he’s going to need to bring in millions of migrant workers to help perform the task.

“The numbers don’t lie,” says Aldous Wart-Dupe III, of The Sums Corporation, a think tank dedicated to pricing political policies. “You want to move over ten million people out, then you have to track them down, arrest them, hold them, then transport them. Who is going to do that? We hardly have enough folks for current tasking. No, Mr Trump is going to have to import millions of workers to get the job done. Unless, of course, he uses the old trick of allowing some of these illegals to stay if they help get rid of the others. Nasty, I know, but it always works. Hell, it even worked in the Holocaust. Now, I wonder who might be put in charge of something like that?”