EL PASO

SO EXTRAVAGANT HAS Ireland’s Office of Public Works (OPW) become, that Irish people are now putting in tenders for its building projects rather than buying lottery tickets, and even the richest nation on earth cannot afford its services.

“When an offer of help came from Ireland, I’m told The Donald’s eyes nearly fell out of his head once he saw the cost of the OPW’s latest Dublin wall,” said a Trump aide. ” ‘If we use them to complete the Mexican job we’ll be bankrupt in a week,’ the President thundered. ‘And damn it, it’s all American tax dollars they’re wasting,’ he added then. ‘These guys are stuffing themselves on our dinner. All those American companies hiding their taxes in Ireland. I wouldn’t mind if they were spending the money wisely – you know, on supporting tourism, like golf courses – but they’re just pissing it on to the sidewalk. No, tell them we’d rather burn dollar bills than use them.’”