WASHINGTON DC

“HE SURE KNOWS how to piss people off, but that’s where we come in!”

The remarks of a Mexican people smuggler who says he will have to quadruple his workforce just to get tariff-free avocados into the United States. Other products may see him having to increase it ten-fold.

“Signor The Donald, he may not speak the Spanish, so I will say it all in English: you have written a blank cheque for smugglers, Mr President. And you have really annoyed your closest neighbors. Thank you. If this goes on for a few years, I will soon be the biggest employer in the American southwest. And just to fuck you back, I will throw in free Fentanyl with every shipment of anything we bring in. Via con Dios.”