KYIV

IN WHAT WOULD be the biggest joint-construction project in history, voices from the Trump Administration – fresh from laying out their plans for Gaza – are now saying the Ukraine War could be sorted out by the US and Russia coming together and building an enormous theme park and golf resort in the contested areas of the war-torn country.

“The people could go an live in nice apartments in Bolivia or Haiti, or, hell, California, if they are desperate,” said an anonymous staffer, “while we doll the Donbas up and turn it over to making some real money. Imagine a humungous theme park – Disney on steroids – casinos – hotels – and multiple golf courses. Bye bye war, hello profit. It’s a win win situation, the kind The Donald loves. That’s the art of the deal.”