CANBERRA

WITH VIRTUE SIGNALLING in overdrive around the globe over Donald Trump’s plans for the population of the Gaza Strip, Australia appears to have thrown its hat into the ring and quietly indicated that it would be willing to take the whole of the strip, but only if Mr Trump would guarantee that he would place no tariffs on Australian goods exported to the United States.

“look, it’s a few years of our normal immigrant intake,” said a Canberra civil servant. “And we already have a thriving anti-Semitic community here anyway, so many of those who would come from the Gaza Strip, they would feel instantly at home, I’d say. And as for Hamas, can they even compete with our caravans full of explosives? I think not. They’ll be on the beach surfing within a month, leaving the real Jew-hating to our home-grown fellas. And property prices can only go up. Albo – with that new mansion of his – will be delighted.”