BRISBANE

WHILE AUSTRALIA WAITS for Cyclone Alfred to make landfall, a leading conspiracy theorist says the slow arrival of the storm could be because it is being run by the Federal Government in Canberra.

David Berk-Moran, who wears tinfoil on his head and says Lee Harvey Oswald was JFK’s illegitimate son, insists that the delayed touchdown of the Category 2 cyclone indicates that it is being controlled by the Federal Government.

“Who else could leave us all waiting for something like this to arrive?” he insists. “I ask anyone who has ever waited for the delivery of anything from the Federal Government to ask themselves this. Maybe Albo needs it for election photo opportunities. Or maybe it’s just the way the Federal Government operates.”