WASHINGTON, DC

NEWS THAT AMERICAN President Donald Trump had not heard about a Sinn Fein boycott of his meeting with Irish leaders to mark St Patrick’s Day, has been qualified by White House staff who insist that the US chief executive had not even heard of Sinn Fein and thought it was a peculiar kind of sports injury.

“Mr Trump reached down to his leg and rubbed his shin just below the kneecap, and remarked: “I can imagine that’s painful enough,” said a West Wing official. “That’s why there were confused looks on people’s faces during that Irish shindig – no pun intended.”