WAGGA WAGGA

FOLLOWING THE HOMICIDAL reaction to American Internet Influencer Sam Jones’ removal of a baby wombat from its distressed mother, the Australian Government is considering re-introducing the death penalty for anyone who trespasses in a similar manner in the future.

“Given the vicious reaction to Sam’s actions, the feeling here is that this could be a vote winner, and we’re looking down the barrel of a very tight general election in Australia,” says Baz Baz, a political commentator who covers untapped lunatic fringe political reservoirs. “The Albanese Labor Government is not doing well in the polls. This could turn things around for Albo. Who would have thought there were so many deranged crazies out there?”

Indeed, Mr Albanese has already joined the critics he might be able to win over, telling Ms Jones she should try taking a crocodile and see what happens.

“As usual, Albo is following from the front,” said Baz.