WASHINGTON, DC

FOLLOWING HIS LIBERATION Day announcement of tariffs, supporters of Donald Trump have called for *April 2 to be a permanent public holiday in the USA.

“This is up there with July 4,” said a MAGA enthusiast. “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all tariffs are created equal, and endowed by The Donald with whatever percentage He sees fit …”

*That’s April 2, not April 1 – ED