CANBERRA

“IT’S A STRANGE omen, usually the kangaroo named after the winning leader hops forward like they’ve been bitten on the balls by an eastern brown snake. But this time “Albo”, he started hopping backwards. Even fell over a possum when he did. Bizarre.”

Baz Auger, whose kangaroos have predicted every Australian election since the 1960s, says the last time something like this happened was when a kangaroo called *Gough was actually taken by a huge eagle and dumped into the sea. “Next day Whitlam was kicked out of office by the Governor General. That was scary, I’ll tell you.”

Baz, a legless Vietnam veteran, whose kangaroos are all subjected to Aboriginal spiritual rituals at birth, says he can predict just about any political event, given the time. “We prepare our roos well, and they are purified before they do their hops. Indeed, we’ve branched out to individual predictions now. We get people from all over the world visiting our website RooHop.Com.Au, looking for predictions on marriages, births, businesses, and, of course, sports results. That’s our biggest growth area. But this backwards hop has us puzzled and not a little concerned. We might watch Albo for a while longer to see if he continues to hop backwards.”

*Gough Whitlam, Australian Prime Minister dismissed by the Governor General in 1975. Caused big stink. – ED