BIGOTRY DESK

THREE HUNDRED OF Ulster’s ultra-protestant churches have joined in condemning the election of the new Pope in Rome, condemning him as the Anti-Christ and wishing him a long reign as Supreme Pontiff of the Roman Catholic Church.

“As long as there is a Pope in Rome, we are validated, and Protestant Ulster will remain the instrument of Almighty God,” said the Reverend Ronald Rant of the Church of Idolatry’s Damnation, based in Belfast. “We are the vanguard of righteousness, the foot soldiers of the Protestant cause. The vile institution that is the Roman Catholic Church, the whore of Babylon herself, she will feel our wrath and the usurper who sits on the Papal throne, he will have no rest. On a personal note, though, we do wish Robert Prevost all the best, of course. Being the Anti-Christ is a not an easy job. And for all our curses and cries of damnation, we do recognize that. It’s nothing personal. Strictly business.”