WASHINGTON, DC

WHILE DONALD TRUMP did not arrange for the Israeli attack on Iran so he could avoid meeting Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese, he has held out the crisis created by the mutual exchange of missiles as his excuse for exiting the current G7 gathering in Canada, prematurely, thus achieving the end result in a more diplomatic fashion than a mere snub, says a White House insider.

“Albanese rates somewhere around the same level as Governor Newsom of California with The Donald, I’d say,” insisted the presidential staffer, who wished to remain unnamed. “At least Newsom is an American, just. And the President can understand what he says. Frankly, Mr Trump finds it hard to understand Albanese, at all, when he talks. It sounds like Crocodile Dundee with a condom around his tongue, we say in the West Wing. And the President keeps having to be reminded who Albanese actually is. So to avoid awkward pauses and hopeless stares, the Middle East has come to our rescue. Maybe next time.”