KYIV

A SENIOR UKRAINIAN general has suggested that his country needs to attack Iran if it is to regain the attention of the West, and keep aid flowing.

“The war in the Middle East has exacerbated our problems,” says an officer close to the general. “The West, NATO, they have all grown tired of our war. The Israel-Iran war is more exciting, it seems. The thought here is that if we want to maintain the short attention spans that our supposed allies are subject to, we may have to launch an attack on Iran. Otherwise, we could be forgotten. We are being forgotten. Where are all the Ukrainian flags and the protests now? The only protests in the West appear to be against Ukrainian refugees. So it might be time to open up and new front in the Middle East.”