TEHERAN

“KEEP THE ENEMY confused, and always take the opportunity to kick him in the balls when he’s down.”

General Doug Dugout, of Retaliate Retaliate Retaliate, a right-wing think tank based in Pretoria, South Africa, was commenting on the news that President Donald Trump has struck Iran’s nuclear facilities, despite a two-week warning and his previous pledges to keep the US out of forever wars overseas.

“Clearly, the Israelis cannot do this all on their own. The sheer size of Iran is the first impediment, and the spread of military and nuclear facilities. The Israelis can knock Iran down but not out. And there’s about 90 million Iranians. That’s a hard nut to crack, no matter how many bases, planes, missiles and various facilities you destroy. They’ve cleared the way for the Americans, though. It’s a pretty clear run in now.”

And Trump’s two-week deadline?

“Trump played a good game there, keeping the enemy confused. The Iranians were probably still debating his two-week deadline when his bombers struck. Maybe his move is payback for the embassy hostages all those years ago. For some Americans, it’s been a long time coming, this.”