TEHERAN

IRAN IS STILL in possession of a super secret Death Star, according to the latest report of the American intelligence service, Mossad.

Intercepted communications reveal that senior Iranians were cheering the fact that while Donald Trump’s heroes of the air did some short-term damage to the country’s “diversionary” nuclear program, the Americans missed the huge space-based battle station sitting at the far side of the moon.

“Nuclear weapons are so yesterday,” one senior mullah said to an Republican Guard commander. “Death Stars are clearly the future. Trump is so Jabba the Hut, don’t you think? He fell for our nuclear threat hook, line and sinker. What a loser?”