BELGRADE, THURSDAY

A DOCTOR LIVING in the high Andes in South America has discovered that treating his growing vegetables with acupuncture makes them grow larger, and they grow faster too.

Dr Herman Sieg, who practices homeopathy, came across the discovery when accidentally placed acupuncture needles in a cucumber during a power outage.

The doctor, whose family moved to the Argentinian Andes from Germany in 1945, found that the cucumber had swollen in the hours it had had the needles inserted in its skin.

“My dear father, who unfortunately had to move to Paraguay many years ago, always told me that you discover amazing things when you experiment on all types of living things,” Dr Sieg told the Kookaburra Bugle. “Once I had seen the effect of acupuncture on my cucumber, I began to treat all my vegetables with the needles. Soon after I treated my fruits and berries. The results were fantastic. Monstrous vegetables, massive fruits, and berries the size of footballs.”