GAZA

“IT MAY WELL be the quickest way to get America to lean on Israel. Just have everyone in Gaza covert to Catholicism. You get the Vatican on your side too. It’s win win. Otherwise stray munitions are going to keep hitting civilian gatherings.”

General Archibald Armchair of the London-based MI6Links strategic policy think tank, insisted he was “just what the Americans call spit-balling”. The general added that he felt no one was coming up with genuine solutions to the Gaza problem, “if you don’t count the real estate development ideas.

“The Palestinians simply have to make themselves more acceptable to Washington. And this shows the way. A number of them are Christian already, but if they all just converted to the Roman way, then the White House would have their back in a heartbeat. It took one rogue strike on a Catholic church and Trump was on the phone to Netanyahu. I know Hamas would probably raise objections to conversion but there’s nothing in the Arab tradition that says they have to be Muslims. Times change, people move on. Palestinians are Palestinians not matter what their religion. Surely.”