ECONOMICS DESK

A NEW CURRENCY has entered American finance, the cheating CEO video.

“Forget Bitcoin, forget gold, forget treasuries, the newest store of real long-term value has to be hug-shot,” says Wall Street trader Bernie Ponzi, whose original hedge fund, Vacant Lot, collapsed last year. “I’m back and I’m buying up every available video I can. My investors can’t get enough of them. And, in the case of these babies, unlike other sure-fire winners, the longer you hang on to them, well the more valuable they become. Perfect. $150K today, $200K tomorrow.”