WIRE SERVICES

WASTE MANAGEMENT CONSULTANTS across the fifty states in America have reported an enormous surge in husbands tossing Cold Play albums into garbage bins at the last possible moment before the trash is collected.

“Hundreds of thousands of CDs and old vinal albums are being dumped by husbands,” says consultant Anthony Caporegime. “These guys sneak out of their houses just as the garbage truck appears and toss their Cold Play material into the trash and then run. They’re afraid. Very afraid.”