MILLWALL, ENGLAND

SPANISH RESEARCHERS HAVE made a remarkable discovery with respect to tourists who visit their country from England: they have a much higher proportion of Neanderthal DNA in their genetic makeup than any other Europeans.

“Our scientists looked at sixty years of police records of fights involving English tourists holidaying in Spain,” said a spokeswoman for the project, which is entitled Perros Rabiosos E Ingleses (Mad Dogs And Englishmen). “They extracted DNA from blood and sweat and saliva and urine, and semen, and even faeces, collected at the locations of these events. And what they found was that all the English tourist DNA had a much higher proportion of Neanderthal in it than that present in other Europeans. Incidentally, English football supporters had an even higher proportion than your average Englishman. The concentrations in subjects visiting Magaluf, Ibiza, Malaga, and places like that, were particularly high.”

Recently, there have been demonstrations against tourism in Spain!