OUR PROPAGANDA DESK

THE KOOKABURRA BUGLE has decided to publish a brief translation of western media reports on the war in Ukraine (when they can be bothered to report it at all):

Ukrainian troops capture small field and empty house: Huge Ukrainian Push Advances Deep Into Russian Territory;

Russia captures Ukrainian town: Putin Suffers Massive Losses Capturing Empty Shell;

Russia loses armored personnel carrier due to flat tyre: Catastrophic Armour Losses Leave Putin Begging For Mercy;

Ukraine fails to capture blade of grass after fifteen months of assaults: Ukraine Keeps Putin Under Huge Pressure, Only Time Between Him And His Doom;

Russia drives Ukraine out of most of Kursk Oblast: Ukraine Raid Into Russian Province Leaves Kremlin Cowering, after Huge Psychological Victory For Kyiv;

Russian Soldier Captured By Drone: Ukrainian Mother Of Five Left Kids To Save Country And Has Putin’s Troops On The Run With Drones;

Russia obliterates Ukrainian infrastructure with scores of missiles: Ukraine Shoots Down 99% Of Putin’s Missiles In Night Of Horror For Russian Tyrant;

Russian deserter tells Ukraine three of his unit have gone swimming in the Black Sea: Putin’s Army On Brink of Collapse As Troops Throw Themselves In Sea Rather Than Fight;

One Ukrainian tank destroys one Russian truck: NATO Tanks Prove Decisive For Ukraine In Halting Putin’s Thrusts;

Ukraine fires three artillery shells at advancing Russians: Ukrainian Barrage annihilates Russian column;

Putin walks across his office: Doctors Say Putin Suffering Every Conceivable Medical Problem As He Reaches Desk In More Steps Than a Year Ago;

Ukrainian corruption has detrimental effect on war effort: _____________

Huge migrations of eligible Ukrainian men to rest of Europe means Zelenskyy desperately short of troops he needs to fight war with Russia: ___________

One Ukrainian rocket lands in Crimea: Recapture of Crimea By Ukraine Only a Matter Of Hours.

And so on.