FROM OUR EQUINE EDITOR HOMER PIGGOTT

THE SHEER VOLUME of illegal migrants making their way across the English Channel from camps in France, has caused some in Britain to wonder if they are not the forward element of a fresh French invasion of the United Kingdom.

“They have previous for this,” insists Reg Reg of England First and Fuck The Frogs, an anti-immigrant pressure group. “1066, that was Frenchies. 1216, a French king took the English throne. Not to mention the way they poisoned the Plantagenet gene pool when Henry V married the daughter of that looney French King Charles VI, who thought he was made of glass. That was a high price to pay for Agincourt. Heny VII, he was a French stooge. James II, he let himself be a French stooge. The French took America from us. And what is English now but a dialect of French. No, all this migration can’t be because these migrants prefer merry old England to La Belle France. There’s an obvious plan be executed here. One day, at a signal, when there are enough of these geezers here, they’ll all start speaking French, and eating frogs’ legs and quoting Rimbaud. England beware!”