W.G. HELLS, PHILOSOPHY CORRESPONDENT

A GERMAN SCIENTIST who once believed he was a cucumber and twice married the same dead horse, says his research has led him to believe that human beings who claim they hear voices, could actually be tapped into another parallel universe, due to defects in their brains.

“imagine the human brain as being like a transmitter,” says Dr Hugo Leglesser, a quantum physicist based at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean. “It is tuned specifically to the consciousness field of our universe. Occasionally though, when the tuning is off, people on this planet, in this here and now, they hear what is going on right next to them – indeed often actually hear versions of themselves – in a parallel universe. This is what drives the so-called madness in schizophrenia and the like. But it is not madness, it is the equivalent of picking up Radio Tehran when trying to find Classic FM on the car radio. Or in the old days, Radio Caroline. Go Tony Blackburn, great mate!”

Dr Leglesser says he plans to try and make contact with a parallel universe by using the mind of a man or woman who currently hears voices in their head. “I might have to play old Boris Johnson speeches backwards to someone to achieve my goal,” he remarked.