FROM OUR LUNATIC FRINGE EDITOR JOHN MADASABALOON

MILLIONS OF LEFT-WING Americans are vowing they will pledge to a Gofundme page for the killer of Charlie Kirk.

“If the assassin remains at large, people will contribute to any fugitive expenses incurred – including false documents and facial surgery – and if caught then a lawyer will probably be useful,” insists Wisteria N. Titled, a Gen Z commentator who says she feels Kirk had it coming. “Nihil nisi bonum, and all that, but, damn it, he said things I don’t like. Am I supposed to tolerate that?”