HOLLYWOOD

NEWS OF CHARLIE Sheen’s admission in a new tell-all autobiography, that he has had intimate relations with men as well as prostitutes, not only hints that the once fabulously wealthy star might be short of enough bucks to fuel his health and fitness lifestyle these days, but also indicates that his capacity for self-absorption could well be limitless.

“Sheen, whose lifestyle makes that of the Roman emperor, Caligula, seem saintly, has probably pushed his excess boats out so far they have tipped over the horizon,” says cultural commentator Wally Bucolic of fan website Sheen There Done That, “and so he is now having to sell the only commodity of any value left to him: those wicked wicked ways, as Errol Flynn would have it. His new memoir clearly demonstrates that when they say Charlie Sheen burned the candle at both ends, they’re not kidding.”