ATHENS

AS GRETA THUNBERG is once again released by Israel, despite protests in Sweden and elsewhere, a spokesman for the Netanyahu regime in Jerusalem has strongly denied that its forces were responsible for the cutting of her fringe.

“That was not us,” said the spokesman. “We have done some terrible things, I’ll grant you, but not that. We would never do that. Indeed, when we saw it, we offered her counselling. No, Israel will not be blamed for a gruesome action it did not commit.”