SAN FRANCISCO

FOLLOWING THE SUCCESS of its various Fentanyl support programs, activists in California are now demanding that the state ban sun screen as racist.

The ballot proposition, which is being prepared to coincide with the next state election for governor, would prohibit the sale and use of sun screens across the state on pain of heavy fines and jail terms.

“Sun screen is such an obvious totem of white privilege that we can’t understand why this has not been done before, man,” says Melinga Wuss, a sociology PhD candidate at Berkeley. “Skin pigment is the one thing that African Americans and other minorities have in their favor in our climate, and we are permitting white’s, particularly the men, to subvert that. It’s disgusting. Cultural appropriation, or what?”